They say you can't polish a turd, and after watching this movie I realized you can't transform one either. The trailer states, "The age of the transformers is over" Yes I hope so after watching this film. I HATED THIS MOVIE!
First of all let me explain. The first Transformers movie came out in 2007, and it was mindless, but fun. A "B," movie at best. Then the sequels came out in 2009, and 2011, and were bad and ok. What did these all have in common? Director Michael Bay and the same formulaic silliness he's become known for. There's the protagonist...who no one quite understands is not an idiot, but in fact, a secret hero. His girlfriend, who on his best day in a normal school could NEVER have a chance with her EVER! The parents, who are tough love, but decent kind of people. Patriotic Soldiers, one of whom for some reason has a wife, who just had a baby that he has never seen, (There fore, you really don't want him to die, cause that would be awful.) And one crazy government guy, always vaguely Italian looking, and always with the worst kind of silly lines that they have to make sound threatening and realistic. Now after the third one, it seemed evident that if there were going to be more Transformer movies, that a new cast and director would take over. That it might have had a real shot if that had been the case. But no. Michael Bay couldn't let it go. Only this time he gets Mark Wahlburg, Nicola Peltz, and Stanley Tucci. And wow....its the most awful three hours i have ever spent in a theater. (And I once had brain surgery!)
Taking place 4 years after the last film, the story is about a down on his luck mechanic, who mistakenly purchases an autobot truck that he thinks is just something he can sell for parts. It turns out, he made the find of the century. Turns out the Autobot is our old friend Optimus Prime, who has seen better days. He looks like I imagined he'd look if some kid left him outside all night during a hurricane. Anyway his resurrection ticks the government off, and they come after Wahlburg and his family. Naturally Optimus, "Calls all Autobots." And soon we see Bumblebee, and a couple of others. (Played by John Goodman, and "The Last Samurai" actor Ken Watanabe.)
I was curious as to why when he made the "Calling all autobots call," only four showed up? No idea why really. Now they must defeat Decepticons, bounty hunters, and corrupt government agents, led by Kelsey Grammer. Along the way, we see the idiots in the White House, claim they didn't know the Autobots, a group that had saved the world more than once, were being hunted.
So many things came up in the movie. Big gapping plot points that were like giant holes in a road. Like what happened to the other Autobots? Why is the bounty hunter only hunting them? When he see's Decepticons all around him? Why when Optimus Prime has rockets that he can use to save the characters in the beginning, does he only use them in the end. " I know we have to get you out of here quickly. Here lets use this car....instead of the jet rockets I have available.... " WHAT THE HECK???
Peltz is AWFUL as the daughter. It seems every line she has is a "Help me," statement. With the words, "Daddy," attached. And it's clear, she was basically filling in for Megan Fox.
Cause if you can't have a hot chick fixing a car, have one in front of an American flag! Nothing is really more American than the site of a really hot chick.... looking like something bad is about to happen.. with an American flag in the background. It screams "IM REALLY HOT, BUT A REALLY STUPID PATRIOT."
Her boyfriend Shane, played by Jack Reynor, has multiple accents, never really settling on one, even though he was labelled as Irish. Grammer and Tucci are wasted here, despite the fact both of them are easily the two most talented actors in the film. The voices of the Autobots played by Goodman and Watanabe, are , well just bad. Wahlburg is, Wahlburg. He knows how to play a guy who turns into a bad ass through circumstance. But I don't know how he didn't laugh with dialogue like this;
Wahlburg: You don't have a warrant!
Corrupt Government agent: My FACE is a warrant!
There are two other things that are ok.
2. The Autobots are great to look at.
3. Some of the actions scenes are cool
THE VERDICT
Transformers: Age Of Extinction may have a couple of good things, but it doesn't excuse its terrible script, and awful acting. Transformers: Age Of Extinction gets a D.
